15 Oct 2018

The Art of Collaboration

"If you want to go fast, go alone.
If you want to go far, go together."
~ African Proverb

 

This week we are thinking about collaboration. I asked some people:

"How would you describe a good or strong collaboration?"

 

Here's what they said:

"The ability to respect each other's insights and ideas even when challenging or disagreeing with them."

"Listening with your whole body and soul to understand the others point of view."

"Having the willingness to let go of total control of the situation and your vision and work towards a common goal."

"Collaboration is not a 'compromise' - it is an EXPANSION of ideas."

"Sense of shared adventure. Patience. Humor."

Listen in to In the Balance episode "The Art of Collaboration" and join in the discussion on our Facebook page!

xoxo,
Susan

01 Oct 2018

Resistance!

Whenever I feel a little apprehensive to blog, to release a newsletter, or come up with a new article, I remember just what that little pushback really is:

RESISTANCE!

Resistance comes up everywhere in our lives: in our creative pursuits, in our relationships, in our friendships, in business and in play.

But as we fight it we have to remember that resistance is a universal challenge and can serve us well as a reliable friend. Without resistance there would be no process, no growth, no development of consciousness, humility or change. Resistance lets us know a lot about our fears, our anger towards our past, our self-doubt and our confusions - all without soft-pedaling.

Without resistance, we certainly wouldn't gain the clarity and inner strength that is gleaned from the struggle. Unless our resistance has become so entrenched that we are imprisoned and cannot find the key, I think the key is always somewhere to be found. The question is just how and where to find it.

What I have learned about resistance in all these areas (at least in part) is this:

Most of us (myself included) are most blocked at the very beginning of something new; resistant to going to the class, to asking a lover why he said something that sounded off, to reaching toward a friend who seems aloof and not around. We shy away from sitting at the computer to write or even to leaving the house on a rainy day. The list could go on for all of us, right?

Once I am there, I feel myself and I know where I am and I can allow myself to open up and unleash ideas, forgiveness, connection, understanding and energy and it all fills me with light and my spirit soars.

Fear of rejection, failure, nothing to say, criticism, loss or feeling unloved is only a short list of reasons why resistance can be so tenacious. Sometimes we would rather lose an amazing romantic relationship at the start of the journey because of a small misunderstanding than to actually feel vulnerable enough to talk that moment through and become closer.

We all carry a story, but perhaps avoid ever starting the book we have in us because we are so afraid that what we write will be boring or simply bad. The flip is of course that it might be wildly successful and then what would we do when all was said and done? Or we let the friendship go rather than risk a fight or being disappointed or being disappointing. 

Yes, we all have some baggage and so sometimes we become frozen in our own order; the order that we think keeps us glued together. This is the order that came into being solely because of resistance; the order that often involves withdrawal or staying in the box.

My opinion? RISK IT! Risk can be exhilarating and you owe it to yourself to just show up and let it flow and see what happens!

Warmly,
Susan

15 Sep 2018

Finding Our Power

When darkness comes into the air, it can be sudden and unexpected.

When darkness and fear and hatred and ignorance enshroud us as if we're breathing it in and losing our breath - it can be overwhelming and alarming. When we lose our way, when we are faced with a diversity we have never imagined - whether it be personal, whether it be political, whether it be cultural, whether it be natural forces - we must pull ourselves inside to a place of clarity and remind ourselves of our own power. Our power to love, to connect, to accept, to problem solve, to be part of a solution, to be part of a community that is supporting the rights of all individuals, whether they be children, adults, animals, or the natural planet.

Perhaps the quote "adversity is a terrible thing to waste" has meaning for us, because we understand that the most growing we do in our lifetimes is from loss, through adversity, overcoming the obstacles.

At this moment, I find myself on this crisp August afternoon contemplating simply "What kind of growing can we do right now, if we reach out a hand to help someone in need?" If we remember how important it is, this word "acceptance." If we abandon comparison, remembering it has no place in a loving world. If we take back our power from the darkness, and light a spark instead.

I wonder: if we just think about that today and continue on our path in this life, accepting what comes, finding our power, and using it to generate love and connection, to supporting freedom and to creating community - what, or who, can we become?

xoxo,
Susan

01 Sep 2018

Floating into Autumn

The taste of sea salt, mountain air, butterflies and seagulls and a certain kind of freedom is still on our lips as we move gently from summer into autumn.

Maybe it feels like a time of exhilarating change: like the start of the new school year. Maybe it stings our hearts to know that in a few months, leaves will be turning colors and then disappearing until spring. Maybe we feel some loss; deep or transient, more consciously than usual. But perhaps we will be renewed as the crisper skies emerge and the air is a bit cool and our favorite sweaters are unfolded.

Can we accept the discomfort of change, with the anticipation of the unknown again as seasons move along and our own sense of self shifts and grows?

Maybe the warmth of the summer sun lives inside our inner world that is always there...where "we have everything we need" as Pema Chodron says.

We have the capacity for love, for accepting that we too are lovable. We can learn about compassionate response instead of reactivity and defensiveness when challenged or hurt or confused. And we can open our hearts, even if just a little, to let someone in. In transition, this may seem harder, whether it is a painful or a joyful time.

Maybe the next time we face a misunderstanding or a disappointment or a hurt, we can just breathe for a moment and remember that we can face others and ourselves with a loving kindness that is sustainable and connecting. Anger and disappointment are fleeting.

So, letting go a bit at a time of the summer spray, let's float into autumn like the translucent green parakeets of Northern India, or a little girl approaching kindergarten, or a sailboat coming in at sunset; the colors, the memories, the unknown, my heart always beating, my self warm and reaching for the fall sweater.

We continue to work individually face to face and on Skype and look forward to more great readings and videos from great thinkers, movers and shakers and heart-centered mentors from around the world!

Warmly,

Susan

"...the long and winding road that leads to your door will never disappear..."

15 Aug 2018

Discovering Joy in Our Everyday Lives

None of us are strangers to our woes and struggles in life. In fact, we seem to know them, as we know an old friend. All day long the list of worries runs around in our heads - how tired we are, all the work we have to do, how little Johnny is failing math class, Fido has worms, we are behind on the car payments...the list goes on and on.

It is a lot easier to focus on our woes than our joys. When we think of joy, we tend to think major, grandiose events or accomplishments - birthdays, graduations, maybe buying a new house or getting a promotion. We forget that each new day gifts us with a plethora of small joys as well.

Through mindful practice, we can appreciate even the smallest joys in our daily lives. They are everywhere once be begin to search for them, to actively seek them out. We can manifest joy in our own lives, in any way we choose. Whatever form they come in - the fragrance rising from cup of hot tea, feeling the warmth of sunshine as we turn our face to the sun, the sound of unbridled laughter from a small child, or the glint of the "ocean's shine" as Mary Oliver writes in the poem below.

As podcast guest Betty Dodson and I discuss in one of my first episodes of In the Balance: "no one can make us happy, no one can make us have joy, we need to make it for ourselves.” This week I encourage you to explore and capture the joys you create for yourself in your own life.

xoxo,
Susan

11 Aug 2018

Gratitude

Dear Friends,

This is a unique summer and I have been reflecting on all the things I am grateful for. Having spent so much time in Athens, I am thankful for the fearlessness of my clients there, the relaxed summer pace and the fresh, giant white peaches from the street market in Petralona, Central Athens.

I'm grateful for my clients in New York, tenaciously sharing their personal process and continuing their work with courage and flow.

I've been grateful to meet new people who move and shake the world around them to forge a better and more connected community. I am grateful for my family, sticking together through thick and thin and grateful for the teachings of so many wise, generous masters; in the arts, in yoga, meditation, in dharma study and cultivating joy.

As we enjoy August, let's think of what makes us grateful. Watch the shifts in light, and appreciate the feeling in the air and the beauty of the night skies.

Warmly,Susan

15 Jul 2018

Obstacles

"What a beautiful thing it is to adapt.
To learn from your mistakes and build a new world
of all your broken pieces
"

~ R. M. Drake

As we all know, nothing can be perfect and not everything goes according to plan. We will always encounter obstacles in our lives. They range from fleeting minor annoyances to enormous and life changing.

But no matter the size of our obstacles, the tricky part is not the obstacle itself, but accepting the setback, figuring out how to get around it, adapting the plan to fit the new reality and ultimately, moving forward. We must be like the flower that grows from from the depleted barren desert ground, the weed that pushes through the cracks in the sidewalk.

Our setbacks, obstacles, and adversity can be discouraging at times, but are proof of our perseverance, our bravery, and our willingness to change.

xoxo,

Susan

01 Jul 2018

The Feeling of Summer

Dear Friends,

July is finally here and we are all happy to move on from the winter!

We can now take a few breaths several times each day and reflect on what we learned from the still of the dark nights of winter as we shift into long summer days. And whether we are working on vocal technique or personal process we can draw from the warmth of summer and rekindle our joy within.

Let's give and take affection with less fear and breathe into gratitude. Let's immerse ourselves in the scent of the flowering trees, the warm breezes, and feel and smell the ocean. Let's slow down and be in the moment day to day with the light of the sun and the feeling of summer.

Warmly,
Susan

15 Jun 2018

Juggling Our Identities

I have been a juggler for most of my life. 

Juggling identities through adolescence and early adulthood: singer, teacher, explorer! Then leaping through hoops in search of the meaning that would come to define me as I moved into my thirties. Rising into an inexplicable happiness when I had my child, embracing the world through yoga, music and community...

Sometimes I am a music lover lost in the power of the song and sometimes I am the singer of that song. Sometimes I am a one woman band, playing with the rainbow of colors in my kaleidoscope life and sometimes I am marching with the orchestra of the world.

How many balls do you have up in the air? Are you balancing on one foot with so many ideas in your head that you may take flight among the stars?

As we become aware of our many layers, of our many desires, how do we open ourselves to the beautiful challenge of learning to dance with them? How do we embrace each step with grace and wonder?

Go have a dance with your many selves. There is so much to see, so much to learn, there are so many balls in your arms waiting to be tossed.

xoxo,
Susan

01 Jun 2018

Change is in the Air!

Dear Friends,

Change is in the air; the weather in New York and in Athens is shifting, flowers are blooming and the sky is becoming welcoming! 

Change is coming in so many different ways; graduations, new babies, moves, new jobs and more are all shaping our lives as summer is the season of transitions. 

As I write now, the sun is peering out after an evening of thunder storms. I wonder how we will navigate change in our lives. How will it feel to move to a new place? To start a new job? To feel a friendship changing, to lose someone or something dear? Making new friends? How do we navigate simply growing? 

While we change let's focus on the joy of connection, the power of love and look to our own potential for open heartedness. Change can be scary but we have the power to loosen our fear by contemplating loving kindness towards ourselves and each other as we move out of the cold winter and embrace the beauty of summer.

With kindness and compassion,
Susan

Copyright © 2018 SUSAN LAMBERT, LCSW